Your most powerful tool: Taking her pride! Your submissive’s hair is probably the most powerful tool you have – both from a psychological and a physical point of view. The many layers, aspects and effects of it easily equal those of bondage or spanking for example. There is pain, there is humiliation, there is training, there is mindset, there is fear, there is sadism and there is a lot more, so here we go with a subject that requires and deserves attention.
Historical Aspects and “Social Conditioning” Allow us to start with a bit of history, because there are some elements here that may be of interest to you. For example the fact that ancient slave owners were usually very specific about the hair. Female slaves were almost always required to grow their hair long for example. And to wear it loose, which has long been – and in some cultures still is – considered to be a symbol of submission or a symbol of unacceptable (read “lusty”) sexual behavior.
Many religions – including christianity – for a long time (some still do) required women to cover their hair, because it is considered to be a symbol of sexuality. One classic punishment for women – that has been around probably ever since mankind has been around – is to either shave the head or simply pull the hair out (something that was very popular during the Middle Ages). And of course there is the stereotype of cavemen dragging their women behind them by the hair. In other words, there is lot to the female hair.
Post World War II Europe in fact has experienced a widespread outburst of public hair-related punishment, known as “the collaborator haircut”. Women – accused of having had a relationship with a German soldier – were publicly punished (usually by outraged crowds). Their heads were shaved and they were next paraded through the the recently liberated cities and villages. It got to the point where hairdressers and shops would have signs in their shop windows, stating that no wigs, hats or other head-covers would be sold to these women and often the punishment was “completed” by painting or tarring the victims’ head, so the hair would only grow back very slowly and she would have to endure the shame for a long time. Northern Ireland – during the times when the “troubles” (the fight between Protestants and Catholics) were at their peak in the 1960’s and 1970’s – has seen similar forms of punishment with women – accused of having a relationship with “the opposite side” – being tied to lampposts, shaved and tarred and left alone until someone would have the courage to release them.
The common denominator in all social, legal and religious “ado” about the female hair is that it is her pride. Take it away or at least make her cover it or wear it in a specific way and you take away her pride or at least point her to the fact that she’s not supposed to be proud. Such motivations of course all do not belong in an erotic power exchange context, but the bottom line is that the female hair is a powerful thing that can be used in many ways, when it comes to erotic power exchange.
In fact, most men will remember their schooldays and especially the effects of pulling hair. None of us ever fully understood that at that age, but men all know that they were both surprised and attracted by the powerful emotions and responses, whenever they grabbed a ponytail or a braid.
Basic Instincts Everyone who has ever been in an erotic power exchange scene will know that as soon as the dominant grabs the hair of his submissive some very basic instincts will emerge quickly. You do not have to fully understand it to know that grabbing her by the hair is – almost always – the right thing to do to push her into subspace almost instantly. Most women associate this gesture with “power”. That is because her hair indeed is both her pride as well as her most vulnerable spot – usually a lot more vulnerable and personal than her genital area. Grab the hair and it gets really personal.
If that is the response – and it usually is – it is always by definition a subject that dominants should look into, understand about and learn to work and play with. Well, that is exactly what this section is about. And there is a lot to learn, discover and explore. Most importantly, we will quickly get to the psychology of all of this and “the art of psychological domming”.
A Word of Warning When it comes to the hair things are best compared to Shibari. It all may look simple and superficial – from a psychological/mental point of view it is not. Quite a bit of what we will describe here has a huge mental impact and may very well lead you to reconsidering the concept of consent. As always, you don’t HAVE to do this …. you CAN. It is up to the two of you if you WANT to.
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