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What is BDSM: The Power of Denial

May 25, 2018

Having my orgasms controlled by someone else makes me happy.  It just feels right.  I’m more attentive when people talk to me.  I’m more open to trying and considering new things.  I’m more honest about what I want.  You know that filter that you sometimes get, when something comes into your head and you think, this is too dirty, too humiliating, too extreme to share?  Being denied orgasms makes me feel freer about sharing the thoughts that would normally be kept secret.  And when I’m given permission to have those orgasms?  They’re a thousand times more satisfying and intense than they were before.

 

I like going through my day aware of my cunt.  I adore that wet needy ache, that frustration.  I like not being the one in control of my cunt.  It’s a new thing for me.  I used to cum whenever I wanted.  It’s like when you’re a kid, and you decide that when you grow up, you’re going to eat chocolate cake for dinner every day.  You would get sick of the cake, and even worse than that, it’s bad for you, and it will make you feel icky if that was your diet.  I’m that little kid, pressing my vibe against my clit, every day, having weak, unsatisfying orgasms, and then moving on to other things.

 

Now the decision of whether I’m allowed to cum isn’t in my hands.  It’s not in any specific person’s hands either.  There are a few different people who have been weighing in on whether I should be allowed to cum or not.  It’s nice, because I don’t feel like I’m a burden on any specific person.  There isn’t the pressure of being in a relationship and having to try and bring the topic up with the person you are seeing.  I think one person has allowed me to cum, and the others have just had me edge to different things, in different ways.  I feel like I’m learning a lot, and everything about it just feels right, like this is the way I’m meant to be.

 

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