When aftercare is mentioned, it is rarely associated with the Dominant. We hear all about how to help the submissive come down from the endorphin high, treat the marks and aches and emotionally recover from the scene. Do we think that Dominants feel nothing during play that they don't need care afterward? Think again.
When we play, it is for enjoyment and pleasure for both people. No matter what the play session involved the Dominant will not leave the scene feeling exactly the same as when they went in. They could have an energy high, a control rush, aches and pains, sexual frustration or fatigue. The submissive has a responsibility to take care of the Dominant just as much as the submissive needs care.
It is very important to make sure that the Dominant recovers from the session in whatever way that is best for them. We know what usually helps a submissive recover; a fuzzy blanket, attention, sleep, care for wounds, etc.
But what about a Dominant?
What do they need?
Out of my own experience, a Dominant sometimes needs much the same thing. A back, shoulder or arm rub would not be turned down after a heavy impact scene. The rush of endorphins is going through them as well. Getting them a cool drink and having them relax will help slow their thoughts and bring them back down from the high they experience.
If sex is part of the relationship and you did not have sex during scene it might be nice to end the scene with sexual attention. I particularly like to end the scene with giving a blow job. Master prefers sex.
It's also important to not be greedy with your aftercare needs. Some of what you may need could be done on your own at another time so while you are with your partner, focus on helping each other selflessly. Curl up together under a blanket and rest. Give each other body rubs. Take a shower together.
If your immediate need after play is sleep, then remember to care for them after you wake from your nap. Trust me, keeping that connection will strengthen the enjoyment after the scene if you can take the responsibility of caring for everything from your Dominant and shoulder some of it yourself.
Aftercare is a joint activity. Just like the exchange in pleasure and pain during play you should be prepared to care for each other's needs after as well.
What does your Dominant need after play?
Let me know in the comments.
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