Hello, people of Lifestyles after Dark. My full name being Neroamee Alucard, please call me Nero.
I write poetry and I’m the newest contributor to the site. I’m happy to be blogging with you lovely sickos. But that’s enough of the pleasantries, let’s talk about long distance relationships.
They suck harder than should be legally allowed.
They suck harder than any Kardashian you care to name in a wind tunnel. They suck harder than a $2 hooker in the endless vacuum of space searching for oxygen.
Sorry, the metaphor got away from me.
Anyway, if you’re anything like me: Handsome, charming and terribly socially awkward, then long distance dating is probably the majority of your dating experience comes from.
For my first blog post, I’d like to detail the five good things about long distance relationships.
(Didn’t see that coming, did you?)
Until one of you decides to move and/or saves enough money and finds a decent enough paying job, you don’t have to share your food. You don’t have to put up with them stealing your hoodies or them starting a show without you on Netflix #SingleLifeQueue indeed.
Basically, all of the physical annoyances in a relationship.
If you plan on making this work out, you are forced into very quick maturation.
Long Distance relationships aren’t for everyone and that growth process does pay dividends, even if they aren’t immediately apparent. In my case, I was taught about what I like and dislike in someone’s personality. It also helped build up my confidence (kind of anyway, I can be a needy bastard sometimes) to the point I felt confident in trying on clothes in fitting rooms.
That doesn’t sound like much, but, trust me, for me that’s an accomplishment.
You learn to find a lot of ways to, shall we say, "fulfill your needs". It teaches you to be much more upfront about what you want out of your partner sexually, as well as in other areas of a relationship.
If you’re into BDSM, you better communicate that now rather than four years down the line when the sex stops being interesting.
Is it on your bucket list to try pegging with your partner?
You Sir or Ma’am better make that clear via text message rather than on date night after eating taco bell and your bowels are set to detonate.
“A Jealous Woman will do better research than the FBI”
I will leave it at that, particularly if you’re planning on getting into detective work.
And finally, long distance relationships are an exercise in hope.
Fact is, with all the madness going on in the world today, it’s very easy to think that all hope in humanity is lost. If you’re in an long distance relationship you must possess a huge supply of hope that the world so desperately needs nowadays.
Well, that’s all I have for my first post. I hope you guys liked it.
Have your own entries to the list?
Feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or drop me a line via the Facebook Group.