"Before I entered the lifestyle, I had a terrible body image, and no real reason to improve it."
Lifestyles After Dark
Do you identify as Dom, sub, or SWItch?
SWItch, though I generally prefer women.
Submissive women or Dominant women?
I tend to go for submissives, though I fully enjoy getting dominated from time to time.
By men and women?
Men. Call me sexist, but I can't really see myself submitting for a woman.
We all have our preferences.
Do you prefer bondage/discipline, Domination/submissive, or Sadism/Masochism? Or a combination of the three?
All of the above, honestly. Most men I meet who are willing to do them are sub, sadly, but I do occasionally get lucky.
Were you introduced to the lifestyle or was it something you always knew?
I was introduced fairly young at 18, by an off again on again girlfriend of mine. We had fooled around a few times, and one day asked if I would be willing to choke her during sex. The rest is history.
How did you handle the transition from vanilla to BDSM?
It was fairly slow, so I was generally able to take it in stride. I hit a snag the first time I got Dominated, but the rest of the time it was smooth sailing.
What kind of "snag"?
Well, up until that point I had been the Dom, so submitting was a new and slightly scary experience for me at the time. I learned to embrace it however, and we were able to move on.
How long have you been active in the lifestyle?
I was introduced at 18, as I said, but it didn't really pick up until I was twenty, when I was invited to a party by someone I met in the lifestyle. It was a master/slave party, and from that point on I have been in it, so going on ten years.
What was the party like?
Mostly male Masters with their female slaves, though there were a few the other way around, and a handful of same sex couples. Most of the slaves wore collars, naked, with their Master leading them on a leash. Most Masters were eager and willing to share their slaves and a few Masters looking to have some fun as well. It was fairly informal, most people wearing a hoodie and jeans, and it was set in my friend's basement, which he had renovated to his own uses.
More of a limited access neighborhood party than Eyes Wide Shut?
It was mostly just a get together of his friends who were in the lifestyle. They were from around the country, and it was an annual event. Me and him lost touch shortly after, and I wasn't invited again.
That's depressing. I lose track of people over time despite my intentions.
What would you say has been the biggest change about yourself that's affected your life since you entered the lifestyle?
I guess it's how I view myself. Before I entered the lifestyle, I had a terrible body image, and no real reason to improve it. Since I joined, I got in shape, got a steady job, and stopped being dependent on my loved ones. They're still confused about what brought on the change, but are happy and supporting of me.
What advice would you give to anyone interested in the lifestyle?
Take it slow. Make sure you're comfortable with what you're doing, and make sure you're happy. It's not for everyone, but it can be an enlightening and joyful experience.