I can't tell you how many times I have heard that famous line “I'm sorry baby, it will never happen again, I swear.” I also can't tell you how many times I have believed that stupid line.
Abuse comes in a variety of flavors; emotional, mental, verbal, physical, sexual, etc., and I have been a victim of all of the above many times in my life.
I was mentally and emotionally abused by my first high school boyfriend every damn day. If I went to field hockey practice instead of hanging out with him, that meant I was meeting someone and cheating on him. He would never come to my games to support me but I would have 17-30 missed calls and texts from him.
“Where are you?”
“Who are you with?”
“Why won't you answer your phone?”
“Are you ignoring me?”
On and on and on.
Voice mails calling me nasty names and accusing me of things I never did. It went like that for about a year and a half until the day he slapped me in front of my father. The poor bastard didn't know what he had started at that point. My dad got up and told him to sit back down, he did. I escorted the now ex-boyfriend out of my house and beat the piss out of him in my driveway. I ended up breaking his left eye socket, shattering his nose and dislocating his jaw with one punch. Needless to say my dad was very proud of me that day!
My next relationship introduced me to verbal, physical and sexual abuse. I was dating someone 5 years older than myself and everything seemed like a slice of heaven. That is until I asked if I could go spend the weekend at my parents because I missed them. That was the end of the world right there! He told me that I was planning on meeting a guy at my parents house and having sex and so on and so on. Also claimed that I was a “dirty slut” because he had little red bumps on his pubic area and that it had to be herpes...
He had shaved the night before: Its called razor burn.
From then on I was being beaten on the regular. If I didn't do my “chores” to his specifications I would be punched, slapped, kicked, etc. He would also tell me that if I didn't do things in bed the way he wanted me to he would force me until I got it right. That relationship went down the tubes really quick the night he tried to tell his buddies they could do what they wanted with me because I liked it. Not happening!
The most recent relationship I got out of, before meeting the amazing man I have claimed as my own, was by far the worst one out of all of them. He was 36, I was 21. He had his own business and 2 nice vehicles and had his shit together. Finally! Someone who is an actual adult and not a child! Wrong! Turns out he was an alcoholic who would go through a half gallon of Pinnacle vodka a night, pass out then wake up accusing me of sleeping with all the other men in the room while he was passed out. He also liked to pass out during sex then wake up in the morning and demand I make up for missing out on sex. He would generally force himself on me while I was half asleep and take what he wanted then off to work he went. Oh and god help me if I was late coming home from work. I was obviously cheating and screwing around so he would beat me until I was bruised and bloody. I had a list of housework I had to do everyday because I wasn't working at the time and if I wasn't done by the time he got home, I got a beating. The day he put his hands on my sister was the last straw for me. I can handle myself and I can take a beating but don't you dare think you can harm my sister when she has done nothing to you. I saw black and just started swinging. He went down hard. I packed my things and left with my sister. I recently found out he spending a nice vacation in county jail for domestic abuse.
All I have to say to that is "karma"!
If you or anyone you know is in an abusive relationship, don't be afraid to speak up and let them know that you're concerned for them. It could save a life.
As always my LADs and LADies much love <3
National Domestic Violence Hotline
The National Domestic Abuse Website